Wednesday, August 6, 2008

How To Be A Better Marketer (advice from a hooker)


It was the best $50 I've ever spent.

Her name was Amber and she about the same height I was. Never had I thought that a "lady of the night" could be so authentically stunning and genuinely captivating as her. She gently smiled, ordered a drink and seductively pulled a cigarette out of her purse.

What happened next was one of the most remarkable learning experiences I've ever had in my life.

Among the smoke, beer and mindless background bar chatter, that night, I learned 3 raw, undisclosed secrets of marketing, from a Las Vegas hooker.

And I'm going to share them with you.

Is it getting hot in here?

Lesson #1
Not every satisfied customer is completely satisfied.
To me, the basic agreement and interaction between a hooker and a customer is pretty elementary. Guy pays girl. Girl has sex with guy. Guy leaves happy. Simple stuff. But as Amber pointed out, "Just because you get their money doesn't mean you'll get their business."
What you can learn from a hooker: When a customer purchases your product or service, most marketing execs view that as a met goal. They get their money, the customer gets the brand. It's a win-win. In essence, the sale begins at the purchase. Finicky is the buyer and most customers (including myself) don't believe in brand loyalty these days and are quick to not only betray a brand, but also make sure others know why we have decided to take our business elsewhere. Just because a customer chooses to initially buy your product does not mean you've earned their business. You have to have them wanting to return to your brand. How do you do this? By knowing what they want, before they want it. Give them comfort in your brand by continuously giving them different options from the newest developing trends in your industry. Customers love knowing their brands are making an effort to keep them "in-the-know" on the latest craze or fad. You don't have to be hip, you just have to be aware.


Lesson #2
The higher heels, the higher chances.
This one made me smile at the simplicity of it. Amber mentioned that competition in the "escort" industry is pretty fierce and cut throat when it comes down to lining up potential clients over a given night. The standard tactic most of the women prefer is to pursue potential customers by making an effort in seeking them out and proactively asking them directly for their business. Amber has a different idea. Instead of being one of the "herd" (her own words), she stands out by letting her shoes do the talking. She considers her 7" black stiletto heels her very own trademark and has potential customers specifically seeking her out because of those famous black stilettos.
What you can learn from a hooker: You need to think bigger. Gone are the days of boring marketing meetings where old-fashion execs sit around a complain about how the "younger" generation just doesn't know what they want anymore. Marketing meetings these days are lively braingasms of spewing trend information where collaboration is respected more than individualistic achievements. Your department needs to be driven by trends. Every idea that rolls out of your marketing department should bring an aura of giddiness and excitement for the intended end results. If you don't get giddy, then you need to get back to the drawing board. Most of the time, an entire restructure of the strategy is not needed, simply a well-placed boost. Stand out from the rest. Build your brand with excitement. Show them your best assets. Ask yourself: "What does my company want to be known for?". Start to build from there.


Lesson #3
To be the best, you've got to be flexible
Don't lie, this one made you smile. I'll let this one be.
What you can learn from a hooker: Being flexible means more than being able to effectively adjust to a situation. When a professional marketer is flexible, he/she not only relies on the pulse of the masses to steer their overall strategy but also is smart enough to re-evaluate the trend on a constant basis and adjust by sometimes delaying or tweaking an upcoming marketing effort. Take advantage of being flexible in your marketing campaigns by leveraging your ability to effectively change key factors at a moments notice and still achieve the same or better results. In other words, spend as much time on your backup plan as you do your final campaign. Having to be flexible should be expected.


So there you have it. Marketing advice from a hooker. What's funny is that Amber is probably twice as dedicated to finding out what her customer's desires are than most entire marketing department staffs. She doesn't have brainstorming sessions or complicated focus groups, but she does have a grasp on how to brand herself in a crowded market. Remember, focus efforts on consistent satisfaction of your customer base, stand out by making bold moves and embrace being able to adjust at a moment's notice without having it be a major undertaking.

As for the $50, I didn't actually pay Amber for any services rendered, I simply bought her drinks while we chatted. I consider it an investment.

Wonder how I'll expense that?


2 comments:

Robert said...

Great analogy and fantastic bargain. $50 consultation instead of having to make some seminar somewhere.

And you say no services were rendered! :P

Anonymous said...

Good read. You had me at "hooker".